Dating ex

Relationship Advice

2009.06.15 01:12 buu700 Relationship Advice

Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help!

2008.07.10 00:26 Relationships

/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve.

2009.03.02 18:48 EggplantWizard Polyamory

Polyamory is openly, honestly, and consensually loving and being committed to more than one person. This subreddit discusses news, views, and issues around polyamory, polyfidelity, poly people, and related issues.

2020.09.23 21:42 singlethrowawayyyyyy I (26M) gave up on dating. How to adapt to single life?

I was ghosted after 6 years with my ex, and have spent several months trying to find someone worthwhile.
Finding people isn't impossible, but since I'm a lot more established in life I notice it's really hard to find people who meet those standards, and the few that do don't go anywhere or ghost me.
I've decided (especially with covid) that I'm just better off on my own, and obviously this is a huge change for me and somewhat difficult. I'm wondering what other people in the same boat have done? Especially considering many things are difficult to do alone (rent/buying a house, etc)

tl;dr Like everything in 2020 dating really sucks and I feel it's not for me. What are some ways to make things easier?
submitted by singlethrowawayyyyyy to relationships [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:40 Creative-Comb2440 The Predator

You ever feel like someone is staring at you but you don’t see anyone around? You ever catch a creepy guy staring at you like “take a picture already buddy”? How about someone that keeps showing up where you work during your work hours? You ever see them driving by your house when there’s no reason to be in that neighborhood? I don’t mean once or twice, I mean multiple times a week? Does this same person talk shit about their significant other while around you (like pretend to receive a text message from them and then play out some emotional drama)? How about getting messages from them in messenger and they act like it’s a mistake (but continue to text you because you’re too nice and he’s starting to wear down on you)? That’s my fiancé out searching for a new supply to feed his precious ego. He thinks he’s so clever trying to hide it. He’s probably the stupidest person I have ever met though.
I see it, I live with it, he pretends that doesn’t happen right in front of my face. He gaslights me immediately tells me I’m creating something from nothing. Yet he’s the one that changes girls names in his phone to initials, as well as erase text messages when he talks shit, as well as tell his friends that he isn’t going to marry me and had zero intention of doing so in the first place. Even though he made a public spectacle in the airport proposing. When in reality he did all of that and created all of that to get back at his ex and I unwillingly became an accomplice to his smear and terror campaign.
You ever notice how much shite they talk about people, then act like that never happened? Or the lies they tell to quickly act like they never said it? Because g-d forbid they be held responsible for something they can’t remember their mind that means it never happened. You ever get a glimpse of the sadist they truly are with nonchalant remarks about people? Then for them to quickly act like they didn’t just say what they did? Them pretend like they haven’t spoke about that person that way (whether it be a relative, friend, former or current significant other)? Quickly explaining that their sense of humor is justified because they were just joking even if it’s cruel and disgusting.
Remember that this won’t end, it will get worse, and by the end you will have nothing. If you escape sooner than later, the ramifications will be less and you won’t feel like SUCH a worthless piece of shite when with them. The constant staring at under age girls and the constant pretend it didn’t just happen. He’s a morbidly obese middle-aged man, it’s really obvious when he stands out in the middle of a parking lot and stares down young girls for minutes at a time when you are just walking into a store. It is disgusting and who the heck knows what he’s actually doing when you are NOT around! Remember to be strong. Remember what’s on the line. Remember your worth and who deserves to be in your life. Remember he gets nothing from you and doesn’t deserve your love.
The personality will start to breakdown once the predator knows you are on to them. The smear campaign starts, they might make false phone calls to your work and report you under false pretenses, the lies they try to tell your family about you (and probably began soon after you started dating to begin with), The anger and rage that will come out of nowhere, them finding fault with any little thing that has to do with you or your child (but G-d forbid they are held accountable for the fact that their child has gotten in very serious trouble in school, and it has nothing to do with the fact that the principal doesn’t like that child, it has to do with the fact that the kid was acting like a predator to begin with multiple times throughout that year already). The fact that he buys his child drugs then acts like it is my fault he does it (when I very clearly said I would not live in a household with a person that did that nor would I be an accomplice to such shite parenting.)
God forbid that the parents are held accountable for the fact that child does disgusting things to you and lies about it afterwards (poisoning you, lying to you, taking your toothbrush and wiping his butt with it...yes that happens). Then the parent doesn’t stick up for you and believes the lying child. There’s nothing you can do to get protection against that. Not only do you live with a narcissistic predator who abuses you, but you’re also attacked by their child and gaslit about it because the child does what the predator does. The predator will also sit there and groom the child, showing them the fact that he’s cheating on the significant other but how to do so and get away with it. Which comes to light by the way the child starts acting out towards you. The child is just as much of a pathological liar as much as the predator.
The predator would never tell the truth, even when shown video or written evidence, & will never admit to anything that’s wrongdoing or reflects them in such a bad light. That would make whatever lie they try to make them self look like in public be untrue. They can’t have that. Because once they realize they are to blame they’ll start having panic attacks all the time and then blame it on PTSD from prior relationships when in all reality it’s just their conscious coming through and then realizing what a piece of crap they are. Mini panic attack and feeling sorry for yourself mode. This is typically the end for you because they are actively seeking out somebody else to “save them from you“. At this point, fully expect to be painted as the most awful human being and probably responsible for their child’s shite behavior. Don’t be surprised if they accuse you of everything you are accusing them of. Don’t be surprised if you are deemed the abuser and they contact the police and try to smear you.
The truth being they are using you to keep you poor where as you were the one that got them out of the “ptsd” unemployed hole they were in and also supplied them with a paying significant other loving household. If the predator is aware of the intentions of your moving on, they will replace the attention (a.k.a. supply) again like they have countless times.
Predators will cheat on you with clients, strangers, put themselves in dangerous positions (& ALWAYS try to put themselves in dangerous positions not caring of ramifications and doing it out of spite). Predators will always want somebody else to come along and save them from you in terms of looks and job. The predator will try to keep you as poor as they can so they can spend their money on whatever bad habit they have. The Predator also does this as a tool to keep you with them so you have to rely on them financially. But the predator doesn’t realize is that the electric and food cost alone would make up the difference in rent somewhere else if you lived alone. The predator also withhold things that they know you like to do or affection they like to receive.
The predator will also try to keep you sick. The predator will bring you drinks that are poisoned and make you sick. With what, you won’t know but it will be small but enough to make you ill within a few minutes to an hour. The predator will also blame you for the things they have done wrong and gotten themselves into. The predator would never be able to take responsibility for their own actions. You cannot trust their intentions, as their intentions are not good for you. Their intentions are only good for them and the sadistic mindset they carry on a daily basis with you always in harms way. Remember that. The predator will hit you “in their sleep“ after you catch them in a lie and confront them. They know they can’t hit you in real life, so if they do it “in their sleep” then they can’t be held responsible for it right? Except the only problem with that is that it only happens after that person is confronted and it happens that night. Never any other time. Only after confrontation of being treated like crap, or lied to. Please note the predator is a 6ft 3”, 400lb man so when he “accidentally” hits me, he does so with such force that it leaves bruises and makes my stomach upset immediately. When told to the predator, he reacts with a anxiety ridden spew of words of “no I didn’t, I don’t remember so it doesn’t mean it happened”. Then tell you that you’re lying. Even though they have told you he did that to his exes as well. Now I realize he was grooming me so I got used to the idea, so that way he could not be held accountable for abusing me. It’s awful the anxiety and stress I have to walk through on a daily basis as a result. Remember.
Remember when it gets to the point where love bombing no longer works. Remember when you are numb, trying to hold onto your sanity. Remember Life is going to get better for you once you leave. You know you don’t need to be with anybody to be happy. It would be nice to share your life with somebody and take care of them as much as they take care of you. It’s just unfortunate that you can’t trust anybody’s intentions anymore because anyone who wants you, they look at you as an opportunity.
Just live your life. Live alone. Heal. Who cares if you die alone. You can’t save anyone...let alone those who can’t open their eyes and save themselves. They have nothing but bad intention for you and good intention for them and using you. Remember, he just moved you to a new location which drained all of your savings.
Remember what he has done to you and the awful terrible things he has said. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t remember because you remember every day, all day, all the time. Remember & stay strong.
You are closer today than you were yesterday with leaving them. Remember to love yourself as you love others. Protect yourself and your child.
submitted by Creative-Comb2440 to NarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:38 BOOMBOXNOTATOY $1000 Upgrade for streaming, digital sculpting, & game dev

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Extra info or particulars:
You may need to scroll table left/right on mobile to see all details of my current build.
PCPartPicker Part List
Type Item Price
CPU Intel Core i7-6700 3.4 GHz Quad-Core Processor Purchased For $0.00
Motherboard Asus Z170-E ATX LGA1151 Motherboard Purchased For $0.00
Memory G.Skill Ripjaws V Series 16 GB (2 x 8 GB) DDR4-2133 CL15 Memory Purchased For $0.00
Memory G.Skill Ripjaws V Series 16 GB (2 x 8 GB) DDR4-2133 CL15 Memory -
Storage SanDisk Ultra Plus 128 GB 2.5" Solid State Drive Purchased For $0.00
Storage SK hynix Gold P31 1 TB M.2-2280 NVME Solid State Drive Purchased For $0.00
Storage Hitachi Deskstar 7K1000.D 1 TB 3.5" 7200RPM Internal Hard Drive Purchased For $0.00
Storage Western Digital BLACK SERIES 2 TB 3.5" 7200RPM Internal Hard Drive Purchased For $0.00
Video Card Gigabyte GeForce GTX 970 4 GB WINDFORCE 3X Video Card Purchased For $0.00
Case Corsair 300R ATX Mid Tower Case Purchased For $0.00
Power Supply Corsair CX 500 W 80+ Bronze Certified Semi-modular ATX Power Supply Purchased For $0.00
Monitor BenQ GW2760HS 27.0" 1920x1080 60 Hz Monitor -
Monitor BenQ GW2760HS 27.0" 1920x1080 60 Hz Monitor -
Prices include shipping, taxes, rebates, and discounts
Total $0.00
Generated by PCPartPicker 2020-09-20 20:51 EDT-0400
submitted by BOOMBOXNOTATOY to buildapcforme [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:37 airsofter253 How do I know if she is into me or just wants to be friends?

Basically what the title says. I (21m) met this girl (23f) earlier this year at a job that I have since left. When we first met she seemed interested and downright forward (i.e. asking me the oldest age I'd date on our third day of working together, telling me that she likes to take things slow, and describing her type to be pretty much exactly what I look like). I was also interested but we were co workers so I was averse to starting anything despite my feelings.
There was a period of time that she was talking to me about this guy that had come over a couple nights and the point of her bringing it up was to ask if it was normal for guys to cum just from making out, and that if so how normal is it for it to happen twice in the same session. I haven't heard anything about this guy since, but I haven't heard anything that gives me a solid feeling that she is single.
About a week before we went into lockdown I mentioned that I played Magic: the Gathering semi-frequently with my friends and she told me that she had played in college but couldn't find anyone to play with here so had forgotten how. I floated the idea of having her over one night to play and she was down.
Then we went into quarantine.
We talked on and off, but neither of us are great about responding so conversations took quite some time to finish. I got a job somewhere else and so those conversations became our only contact. I do have friends back at that place though, and one of them apparently sees her quite frequently and says that anytime they talk she always mentions me. To the point that he knew about the soon to be mentioned date like the day after we planned it.
Recently, my county has reopened and we finally hung out. It was just us and I was helping her relearn Magic. She had forgotten quite a bit but she never seemed to be bored the entire time. We have been trying to plan another get together but with her busy weekends and my busy weekdays the timing was never right until today.
We have plans to hang out at my place and watch a movie. I'm very nervous because even when it might seem obvious to others, I can never be sure if somebody is into me. In my last relationship, my ex was dropping some HARD hints and even then had to straight up tell me.
I'm not sure what the best course of action is here. I have some pretty major anxiety and have never been good about flirting or "putting the moves" on someone. Meaning that if I don't know how the other feels about me I'll likely do nothing and miss out. Do I just straight up ask her how she feels? Do I do the classic arm over shoulder thing I see in movies/tv? What happens if I do either of these things and it turns out she's in a relationship? Any suggestions would be much appreciated as I'm quite lost at the moment.
submitted by airsofter253 to dating_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:36 lolmon20 Please build me a PC for 600€ and less (1080p 60fps high settings)

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
Play all kinds of game from old to new (with mods) and single player to mmo. I really want to learn programming to so please remember that.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
When i get a good build recommended
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
only the tower
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Monitor (samsung) Keyboard and mouse dont know their brand
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
a small ssd for Windows and some programs like steam and chrome and a HDD with 2 tb.
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
submitted by lolmon20 to buildapcforme [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:34 mn8mn Fixation on a particular ex

Hi everyone,
First off I just wanted to say I'm so glad to have found this community and I hope we can all recover from our RJ.
I have an interesting case. My partner (35M) is a bit older than me (23F) and he has had more relationships both casual and serious than I have. None of these relationships bother me that much --except for one. This is his most recent ex before me and also the person he was with the longest.
His ex is closer to the same age as him (31F) and they started dating at 20 and 24. They spent the majority of their 20s together, broke up for a few years, before getting back together at 29 and 33 (and breaking up again before he met me). Overall they were on and off for almost 10 years. He told me they broke up because they just "weren't right for each other" but I don't know what that means.
The reason this particular ex bothers me so much is because of the fact that they got to spend their 20s together. His sister is the exact same age as his ex and they were really good friends. All of his friends (all around the same age) are her friends too. His mom adored her. It doesn't help that she's also beautiful, thin, well-educated, and successful too.
When I first moved in with him, I came across an old USB while cleaning one day and while I admit it was wrong, curiosity got the best of me and I stuck it in my computer and found 10 years of photos and videos of them together, some of them very intimate. They seemed so happy together, even happier than I feel like he is with me. He felt awful that I saw it and told me he didn't even remember he had it, that it was only the highlights of the relationship, not all the fights and breakups and then he threw it out. However, seeing everything destroyed me and I've invented so many stories and mental movies based on what I saw.
I'm constantly paranoid that his friends and family are comparing me to her and I constantly compare myself to her. I am upset that I am not as far along as she is, even though she's older. I am upset that his friends and family loved her and I fear they resent me for replacing her (even though they don't display signs of this -- it's literally all in my head).
I don't even hate her. In fact, I admire her as she does seem like a great person, but I just hate that it makes me feel small.
What can I do to get over my fixation with this person?
submitted by mn8mn to retroactivejealousy [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:30 officersandspies Is this genuine, or a begging thread?
Report Needhelp30 Sat 19-Sep-20 18:56:26 I’m in a right state.
I live with my partner and 3 kids. The older two are from my previous abusive marriage. I have claimed as a single parent. My defence is that I left an abusive marriage in tens of thousands of debt and have borderline personality disorder and can not be safe with money. The tax credits I was getting was for my debt and my older two children. I have a spending addicted and I can’t be trusted to pay bills etc so absolutely everything is in my partners name. The house is his.
He has no idea. He gives me an “allowance” once a month and he thinks I live on that. He will leave me if he finds out, Iv already had bailiffs to the house. My mental health has been awful the last few years and my psychiatrist is fully aware of my spending problem.
I stopped claiming tax credits last month as I started a part time job. I earn £300 a month.
I had a letter today saying that they have linked my partner to his house. They want a telephone interview next week but also all bills etc that are in my name. Nothing is. Literally nothing apart from my bank account.
I’m so scared. The letter has asked for details from March 2019 - July 2019. Why only these dates? !!!!!! do I say. If I admit everything surely they will look further back? I honestly feel like this is the cherry on the top and I’m not sure can survive much longer. I have so many debt collectors after me. Partner refuses to help as it’s technically ex’s debts.
I’m so nervous about the interview. I don’t want to go to prison. I don’t even want to go court. I’m so scared.
submitted by officersandspies to MNTrolls [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:30 binuverghese converting Autosys JIL file to CSV using powershell and splitting columns

Hi Experts,
I have used a powershell to convert autosys JIL files to CSV format so I can use them to compare against all the jobs, their dependencies etc as a part of a migration project.
I was able to do the conversion and collate all the data into 1 excel such that 1 row will have all information of the jobs.
CCR_razor_start_c job_type: c command: support/bin/mou_dialarm/ wCCR_ToD_pingAllSlaves_c machine: abcd_unix #owner: abcd permission: gx,ge,wx,we condition: s ( wgc_razor_TOD_c ) description: "Job to page when Razor job is successfully done." n_retrys: 5 term_run_time: 3 job_terminator: 1 std_out_file: $GICS_LOG/razor_done_c.$GICS_CARMA_DATE.out std_err_file: $GICS_LOG/razor_done_c.$GICS_CARMA_DATE.err alarm_if_fail: 1
Now, I need to split the data into columns with their corresponding values. Any suggestions to do this please?
command job_type machine owner permission
support/bin/mou c abcd_unix abcd gx,ge,wx,we

Below is my code I've used to convert the JIL file to excel
function main
$oldVerbose = $VerbosePreference
$VerbosePreference = "continue"
If (!(Test-Path $jilFile)) {
Write-Verbose "Input file not found: $jilFile. Exiting..."
# Get JIL and strip comment lines
$jilDB = Get-Content $jilFile select-string -pattern "`/`* -------" -notmatch Out-String
# Create array of jobs
$jobs = $JilDB -split 'insert_job: '
# Create Excel file
$ExcelObject = new-Object -comobject Excel.Application
$ExcelObject.visible = $false
$ExcelObject.DisplayAlerts =$false
$ActiveWorkbook = $ExcelObject.Workbooks.Add()
$ActiveWorksheet = $ActiveWorkbook.Worksheets.Item(1)
# Write each job to Excel file
$Row = 1
for ($i=0; $i -lt $jobs.Length; $i++) {
$jobOneLiner =""
$jobs[$i].split("`r`n") ForEach-Object {
$jobOneLiner += "$_ "
#Write-Host $jobOneLiner
$ActiveWorksheet.Cells.Item($Row, 1) = $jobOneLiner
# Save Excel file and clean up
$scriptDir = (Get-Location).Path
$date= get-date -format "yyyyMMddHHss"
$ExcelObject = $Null
} # main
# Entry point
submitted by binuverghese to PowerShell [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:28 Angel8688 Why he didn’t want to be with me and rejected me for his ex GF? How do I get over my hurt ego and have a closure?

The guy (40) I was having casual sex with once a week for four month but know each other for years . He always used to like me but never asked me out directly , he always used to say I’m out of his league . I never considered dating him as he used to have kind of a womanizer reputation so I initiated a hook up.
We were having conversations and had fun times, hanging out for a few hrs after sex. He cooked dinners. The chemistry was crazy. It was pretty obvious that we are just hooking up and I once even asked him if he’s going on dates . He once said he’d love to watch a movie together but didn’t really reciprocate.
At the beginning all I wanted was just sex and didn’t plant to date him but I started to get attached to him.
For the past month or so he started to become distant and pulling away and ignoring me. I asked him to hang out twice and he made excuses that he had to work but he’d love too.
I finally confronted him and texted him whats the deal , told him that I really like him and enjoy being with him and that I want more, and asked him on a real date, and he finally confessed that he’s back with his ex and that he really likes me but that’s what it is. He texted that he’s terribly uncomfortable but he can’t help it as he still has feelings for her. (He left her a few times before due to her bad temper and she begged to take her back )
And then he started to bulshit me about how he’s so unhappy right now as he’s anxious about all this and not even enjoying life (Don’t get why he’s trying to seem miserable.) and that he doesn’t know what’s gonna happen with her and he thinks it’s a mistake , telling me that he’s not a bad person and asking me not to hate him ,blah blah blah.
I asked him why you just didn’t tell me and he said he wasn’t sure yet about getting back together with her but he would tell me . I said I’m not angry and I understand and told him I fell in love with him and even said I can give him more than her ( I know it’s stupid of me and needy but it was in a moment ). He said please try to forget me but said don’t disappear .text here and there .
Now when I think about it I get the impression that perhaps ha was talking to her all this time and working on getting back with her while sleeping with me and even slept with both of us .
I don’t understand why he just didn’t tell me for weeks and lied and avoided me until I finally confronted him. I know he doesn’t have to but we have know each other for years plus it’s a decent thing to do.
The last time we met was a month before all this conversation, he was already distancing but still took me to a party introduced to everyone , all his friends were so impressed by me and kept asking where did he find me. I kissed him in front of people and was affectionate acting as we are together, now I realize that he was already back with her when we were at the party! 😞 after that party he stopped texting . Why did he even take me there . He even said he’s planning to take a trip and asked me if I want to come and visit him there . I even brought him a little gift . He loves cooking so I gave him a special bottle of sauce for cooking .
I feel I made a complete fool of myself and embarrassed myself at the party . He became very active on social media posting pics of himself enjoying life and even in one if the pics he posted himself having lunch and made sure the bottle of sauce I gave him is right on the middle of the picture ...
We didn’t talk since then but he makes sure he likes and wows all my stuff on social media. I deleted him from my social media a few weeks ago .
I’m having a hard time to move on and my ego is hurt . Why he didn’t want me and chose to go back to his ex again . Did he like me at all.. I wish I had a closure
submitted by Angel8688 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:28 Pinklepurr1 Please help me understand what I have been going through, culturally.

I am recently out of a year long relationship with a North Indian man. He has lived in the states for almost 30 years. I am American and white and we are both divorced with kids in our 40s. His arranged marriage wife went back to India with their child and he has fought to the Supreme Court to get his kid back to the states. He hasn’t seen her in 6 years. He said there was a lot of stigma and pain on his family for this. Thoughts on this part?
We had a very intense year together. He wanted to define the relationship from date 3. He told me he loved me in the first month and immediately called his mom to let her know. She told me he has never said I love you to another woman. They were supportive of our union despite my race and my family fully accepted him. When they came to visit over the holidays they took me ring shopping, and he asked my family formally. This was about 3 months into our relationship. We never got engaged though, covid kind of threw a wrench into our lives .
I think he has been very Abusive. Or maybe that is my western view. I am all confused now.
He drinks way too much. His brother is in AA. My ex drinks daily 6-15 drinks. He’s quick to anger. He’s rude to waitstaff (not always but whenever there is slowness or an issue he is rude and arrogant and throws a scene.) I asked him to just be kind many times and he said he wasn’t raised to accept poor service kindly.
He has a quick temper whenever he is challenged. He tells me he wants me to stand up to him but I have been anxious and intimidated. Some of our arguments have been over very simple things like grabbing the wrong piece of bread, or asking him to walk next to me, frustration over him canceling trip plans last minute, or my “lack of direction “ with my career. He told me from the beginning he has a big ego and broke up with a white lawyer girlfriend as her ego was enormous. He told me I was an egotistical b to think my job as a teacher means anything.
He told me in our final argument that when my uncle had visited many months earlier and neglected to remove his dirty shoes in his house (there was never a strict no shoes rule) and I didn’t correct him, he decided that my family was rude! I told him that in my culture I don’t correct my elders, but I do offer to correct the situation and I offered to vacuum but he wouldn’t let me. Somehow this was shelved for 7 months and at the end it justified his breakup. Thoughts? He would wear shoes in his own house sometimes, it was just an oversight of my uncle who is not related by blood, a bit of a jackass but not a close relative. I pointed out that my close family always treated him like one of their own.
He was wonderful to my family, to my daughter, and could be a brilliant good man. He was always generous with me and I believe he truly loved me. But there’s a dark side to him... drinking made it so much worse. His ex wife alleged dv which doesn’t surprise me as he would scream in monologues, not allowing me to say okay even.... pound on walls, overturned furniture, threw plates into the sink.
He broke up as he was tired of arguing. He would get so upset over such little things and if I tried to defend myself it made it so much worse. I broke his trust by saying goodbye in a text to his parents the next day and informed them how bad his drinking had become. I really loved them. He told me I had divided and hurt his family and blocked me. We haven’t communicated since.
My heart is broken. If anything is offensive here please do not take it that way.
submitted by Pinklepurr1 to ABCDesiSupportGroup [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:27 Looser_no1 What if your ex texted you "I am dating someone better than you "?

submitted by Looser_no1 to AskReddit [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:27 lalala122496 What am I doing? (F,28)

( sorry for the bad grammar & long post )
I am dating a beautiful woman. Back in October 2019 i started to be distant not wanting to be together. I cheated on her. Yes, I know bad. I will never forgive myself for that. Move forward it is now today. She has these trust issues where I cannot go anywhere without her thinking I am cheating. I get that she is hurt and it takes time to move on from being hurt . Everyday almost she goes through my phone, she accuses me of cheating still. Really, just want to know what I can do. She is hurting me mentally because of what she says when she gets mad. Sometimes she will find things in my phone and freak out before she asks me what it is. Everytime it is honestly nothing bad. I feel stressed and in edge with her. I turned my always display on and it turned off my notifications and she flipped the fuck out. I turned them back on right away,because I am not hiding anything. Also my whatsapp shows I was on sep 13 when I swear on everyone's life I love that I didn't go or ever download that app since I had in June. I have no idea why it says it. I also gave her a flower when I got back from my bestfriends house who lives 8 min away from me. My bestfriend crazy ex left flowers on her door. I was like omg csn I take one for my girl and she said yes. Now I am home she says wow how ironic you come home with flowers who gave it to you. She went to sleep in the living room because she was so mad when I was nice and told her what happened. Then she comes in like an hour later " oh you really do not care about me cannot even check up on me." I understand that I cheated on her and lied to her face. I am honestly changing and I never ever want to hurt her again . I love her and yeah I should of never done it in the first place. I fucked up. I want to be happy with her again and figure out what I can do to make her trust .
submitted by lalala122496 to dating_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:27 myweed1esbigger 4K gaming pc

1. What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games (ex: resolution, FPS, settings) or programs you will be using.
4K gaming. I want to play everything from Grand strategies (stellaris, Civ, total war) to FPS (COD, Apex), to RPG’s (cyberpunk, new elder scrolls/fallout whenever it comes out)
Also want to be able to do some basic video editing, and eventually run a home security system off it & smart home stuff
2. What is your maximum PRE-TAX budget before rebates and shipping?
**3. When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to
I’d like to buy as many parts on Black Friday/cyber Monday as I can. A couple different but comparable options would be preferred so If one goes on sale I can snag it
4. What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ex: toweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Lian li 011 XL dynamic white (wife’s request). Nothing else.
5. If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? How old are they? Brands and models are appreciated.
Getting a lg c9 or cx OLED tv hopefully on b Friday.
Would like to to re-use my Seagate 3tb external HDD for storage (currently its my extended storage on my PS4)
6. Will you be overclocking (ex: CPU/GPU/RAM)? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line?
7. Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, Wi-Fi, VR, VirtualLink, tensor cores, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
1tb SSD if possible
8. Do you have any specific case preferences (ex: mITX/mATX/mid-towefull-tower sizes, styles, colours, window or not, LED lighting, etc.), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Lian li 011 XL dynamic case (full tower) Wife wants rgb.
9. Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? Note: some post-secondary students can get Windows 10 for free.
10. Will you be upgrading this PC in the future (ie: will you swap out better parts later on or will you build an entirely new tower later)? If so, when?
Will swap parts out - no timeline. Maybe in 3-5 years do an upgrade based on video cards.
**11. Do you have a brand preference? (ex: AMD/Intel for CPUs, AMD/NVIDIA for video cards,
Would like to get the Nvidia 3080, did some research and it seems the lowest cpu which won’t bottleneck it is AMD 3700x. Due to cost I think I’d prefer amd over intel.
12. What are the specs of your old PC / laptop? Do you want to see if it can be upgraded instead? If so, paste its build from PCPartPicker here.
Haven’t had a gaming computer since 2003 :(
13. Extra info or particulars:
You guys are awesome. :)
submitted by myweed1esbigger to bapccanada [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:26 nprstaff NPR claims to be for Truth and Fairness unless its KCLU operated by the Lutheran Church.

An NPR station in Thousand Oaks fired employees wrongfully and when they took to Twitter to out the General Manager of KCLU Radio in Thousand Oaks, the abusive manager hired a lawyer to scare former NPR employees from posting facts about their terminations. Here is the response that was sent to Mr. McDermott of Thousand Oaks, CA from the law firm Ferguson Orr and Paterson - a firm in Ventura County that failed to add their own State Bar to the Demand Letter.

My response is as follows and details the behavior I saw my boss, Mary Olson of Camarillo California involved in. Then she had to audacity to threaten me with a libel suit. Doctine of Clean Hands is obviously not her forte. But when youengage in sex, and people see you engaged in sex around town with someone other than your husband, that's what happens. So, don't report it to HR, because that's why I was fired.

Dear Mr. McDermot,

I am in receipt of your letter, dated September 16, 2020. It was delivered today to me without an envelope or official stamp, in Xerox form from a man who identified himself as a Ventura Sheriff Deputy. He presented his police badge and when I asked for his name, he refused to provide it. I called your firm's office and was hung up on by your office manager and receptionist. Your employees are not friendly or professional Mr. McDermott, and I hope you remind them that if your employee is identifying himself as a police officer, your receptionist has an obligation to identify that person. She did nothing but hasten my desire to report his behavior to police.

The Ventura Sheriff's Watch Commander on duty request I get the name of your employee so I can proceed with filing a police report. I trust you will provide this man's name, as you know identifying oneself as a law enforcement officer is a misdemeanor as per CA penal code. [Cal. Penal Code § 538d]

As for your client, Ms. Olson the following is true:

  1. I was employed by California Lutheran University. The university was represented by your firm, however Ms. Olson was not a party to that lawsuit or settlement that followed.

  1. As you know, your firm represented California Lutheran University and appeared on their behalf at the Santa Barbara Equal Employment Opportunity Office. Your firm has a copy of that settlement agreement. I ask you review it because there was no "NDA" clause. The agreement included the amount of money California Lutheran University finally agreed to settle and compensate me for the overtime they owed to me. It also included other miscellaneous items like removing my voice from the airwaves, but no Non-Disclosure Agreement was included. I have the agreement as should you, therefore I am confused as to why you are not aware of this fact. Your reference to my tweet mentioning an NDA is moot and my confusion is based in why you seem to be in the dark about these facts available to you because your firm represented CLU. You should have a copy of that agreement.

Mr. McDermot, you don't know this, but I and other listeners of KCLU in the community have heard my voice played on air at KCLU despite our settlement agreement, however I overlooked this violation of our agreement and did not pursue compensation for the many times it's occurred since I was terminated. Therefore I'd like to add that if Ms. Olson pursues a lawsuit against me alleging libel, I will be forced to counter-sue for compensation in breaking the original agreement by playing my voice on air.

  1. As for my response to your accusations that my tweets are lies and composed in an effort to damage your client's "reputation" in the community, I would ask you speak to Ms.Olsen, because my defense to your allegations of "libel" is that my tweet and the information included in it, is true. Your client is being less than forthright with you about her sexual escapades. I suggest you remind her of some additional facts that may jog Ms. Olson's memory about her conduct during the 2012-2014 years. Some time has passed, therefore I can understand her confusion, however I am not the only employee privy to her philandering. Ms. Olson has been spotted around the City of Thousand Oaks engaging in sex acts or lurid behavior on two separate occasions. I also followed her one evening after seeing her driving near my grandparents home in the Santa Rosa area of Camarillo and witnessed Ms. Olson going to the home of a high-dollar KCLU donor at approximately 9pm. That home belongs to her current husband, the man she was philandering with, and the man I [and two other employees] witnessed her engaged in sex acts with.

I would also like to inform you that I went to Human Resources at California Lutheran University approximately 2 months prior to my termination and reported Ms. Olsen's conduct toward me, in addition to the sex acts I witnessed her engaged in. Therefore, there is record of my reporting this event to the HR Department and Mr. Mcdermot, I was fired for reporting that information to HR, just as my tweet expressed.

Mr. McDermot, I reported her behavior because Ms. Olson was also engaging in sex inside the radio station, in her office and I could hear them when I put my ear up against her office door. Again, your firm represented CLU, therefore I am shocked you are not privy to this information about Ms. Olson's conduct and the many other employees who she has fired due to their reporting her behavior at work. We were all informed by the HR Director, that since Ms. Olson is the daughter of a high-ranking Lutheran Provost, she cannot be fired, despite her long record of misconduct. CLU HR knows Ms. Olson is a problem, because she's been a problem since the station was founded. CLU has had many complaints about Ms. Olson, and I suggest you remind your client that these records exist. If a lawsuit against me were to proceed, I will subpoena my HR records and the former HR Director I reported the conduct to substantiate my defense; in addition to the two other former employees who experienced similar scenarios involving your client. The HR dept has a long record of her conduct. Mr. McDermot, I did indeed witness Ms. Olson engaged in sex acts in a Thousand Oaks parking lot. I am not the only person who has seen this activity. On another occasion, a fellow CLU employee witnessed Ms. Olsen engaged in behavior with a man he knew was not her husband and asked me at work about it. Ms. Olson's conduct was also mentioned in email sent to coworkers in the Development dept detailing the event I witnessed, and I know you have copies of those emails because your firm attempted to use them as leverage against me. Those records and emails are also on a potential subpoena list if this lawsuit alleging libel is pursued.

Your client Ms. Olson has lead you to believe that she is of a high moral ground in this scenario and in her every day life. I apologize she lead you astray. However, her sexual behavior is well known to former employees of both KCLU and CLU. Please remind Ms. Olson that her activity and behavior was already documented with Human Resources by me, she was also witnessed by another female and male employee of CLU being intimate and kissing a man these employees knew was not her husband and approached me at work about it. Ms. Olson should know that I have no issues requesting a subpoena to have those former employees I still have contact with if she were to pursue this ridiculous notion that I am not being truthful about her conduct. Ms. Olson should conduct herself in a less provocative way if she is so concerned about her reputation.

Ms. Olson knows that I resided one block away from her during my time of employment at KCLU, and that I still maintain communication with her former neighbors where she lived with her former husband. Please remind Ms. Olson that her entire neighborhood in Marlboro Homes of Moorpark knew she was philandering because her ex-husband informed neighbors, Mr. McDermot. Ms. Olson has a short memory and she should take this issue up with her former husband who she decided to cheat on and then abandon with three kids. I suggest you rid yourself of her as a client, because this is a case your firm cannot and will not win. This won't be the first time Ms. Olson has lied about her conduct at work, and this is also documented with Human Resources at CLU by other employees. I actually pity you for getting Ms. Olson as a client, because she has always conducted herself in a manner that could be construed as less-than-savory, and I would hate for your firm to be dragged down with her.

  1. In closing I ask that you please provide me with the name of your employee who identified himself as a law enforcement officer employed at the Ventura Sheriff's Dept to deliver a letter on your behalf. This was not a process server, and therefore was he committing a crime when he gained access to our gated building by lying to the property manager. I have him captured on video telling the property manager he is a Ventura Sheriff and I need to proceed with filing a police report. I ask you do provide this employee's name otherwise I will be left with no choice but to file a complaint with the State Bar of CA about this violation that occurred today. I would prefer you not put me in that situation and just identify this man and then terminate your relationship with him, as he is putting your firm at risk; as is Ms. Olson.

Good day, please let me know if you have further questions.
submitted by nprstaff to u/nprstaff [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:26 alwayslatekate92 I broke up with him so we could find out true soulmates.. he has.. I haven’t :(

My ex was a really great guy. I met him a couple of years after trying to heal from a really bad narcissist abusive relationship. He was patient, generous, and loyal, there wasn’t an abusive bone in his body. He was the complete golden retriever type boyfriend. Ie. on our third date he took me to the Bahamas... always sent me flowers to work.. no locks on his phone and was always transparent. He was the ‘shirt off his back kind of guy’. We had a beautiful home, we did nice things, we travelled, we were always having fun. I enjoyed his company but since the day I met him it just didn’t feel right to me... it was like our pheromones didn’t match (from my perspective). He wasn’t perfect and had his own issues and he wouldn’t ever try and work on himself. He was emotionally immature and I couldn’t have deep conversations with him nor did we share the same humour which is really important to me. I felt like his childhood issues created this need for him to be loved and to have a stable home and a woman waiting for him there... I think if it wasn’t me it could have been any other woman. I felt bad that I couldn’t get there with him and I didn’t want to pretend. I wanted to let him go so he could find his true love.. someone who reciprocates his love. One of our major problems was that he had sexual abuse issues that he hasn’t tried to work on and I felt it.. he would pout and sleep on the couch if I said no. He would even offer to pay me which was really weird. I got to the point where I would cringe when we had sex. 3 years into my relationship with him my sister passed away.. more than ever I felt this suffocated feeling with him.. I was unhappy with him but I didn’t understand why... he was such a good guy and I knew I could live a good life with him but it would lack any kind of passion or recognition of each other’s souls. With my sister’s passing it made me realize how short life was and I moved out soon after. He was devastated. It’s been a year and a half and he still messaged often asking to come see me and telling me he still loved me.. I rarely replied and I felt indifferent.
I figured that life would reward me for letting him go and for being true to myself. Life has been good as far as work but I have not gone on one date.. I have not been interested in one person.. I feel lonely and sometimes I question my decision. Today I creeped his socials because he hasn’t messaged me in about a month. He’s in love. He got an amazing promotion and him and his new girlfriend post about how they’ve met their soulmate and talk about about having kids in the near future, etc. She’s beautiful and their personalities seem similar.. from a quick Facebook look over you can see they have similar interests and are head over heels. I am happy for him but now I question even more if I let a good one go just because my heart didn’t feel it. Maybe I’m jealous that he got the happy ending and I haven’t yet. He was the type of guy you grow old with.. dependable and unconditional.. will I be 80 and alone regretting my decision? Maybe I could have eventually gotten there with him? Now that I know he’s gone.. I miss our friendship. Maybe I’m just upset because I want someone I can’t have anymore and that’s obviously a toxic trait. I just don’t know how to deal right now. I feel stuck and I feel really sad.
submitted by alwayslatekate92 to BreakUp [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:24 SnooLentils8659 straw that broke the camels back: after narcissistic abuse from EX boyfriend, i am so angry i want to kill anyone who unjustly treats me like shit from now on.

So I want to help myself a bit here and also understand If anyone else feels like this or am I just being a selfish millennial loser with no self control.
So for some context the last few months have been hell. I had been with this guy for a year on and off but it got substantially worse the last 4 months. I broke up from this guy who emotionally abused me, cheated on me then would tell me in various cruel ways when he felt insecure -- I couldnt leave his house due to covid lockdown and had to put up with his shit as I had nowhere else to go (im living somewhere else now finally) . But anything I said to him (hes a sociopathic narcissist) if i disagreed with him or didnt let him do whatever he wanted to me or to text/ring other women, do cocaine with his 12 yr old daughter across the room from him and watch porn for 8 hours straight and lock me in his room while he masturbated... I had to shut up and take it basically or face his wrath. Although im naturally an empathic person with love for all my friends, family and humans in general; I felt such seething rage at his abuse while it was happening but I would just crawl into the loo, lock the door and wanted to die. I couldnt escape and I felt trapped. He would tell me if I behaved well he wouldnt misbehave and if I changed he would treat me well but obviously he never did and I was abused into submission.
He told me amongst all this that he raped 2 girls (he laughed) and said they deserved it. They were some east european girls he went on dates with. I didnt know what to say or if he was joking. I felt trapped -- of corse in hindsight I should have told the police but I had nowhere to go.
Hes 50 and im 23 -- I know in hindsight I was so so Naïve to think that would ever work and that he could ever respect me! At first he did respect me but when he knew i couldnt easily leave his house due to circumstance, lack of money (hes a rich ex banker prick) so he took advantage of my vulnerability. He even told me on the last day i saw him that he was grooming me and said 'do you like it when i groom you?' I said 'no thats disgusting.' He smirked his sick smirk.
The night I broke up with him, he had invited an escort type girl round to have a threesome with us and I had enough of his sick ways. This girl is 16 so also he's perverted. I had a breakdown that night. I told him im leaving him and that i cant be with someone so disgusting, then ran onto the balcony naked and intended to jump off but when i realised its not high enough to die i didnt so I a few bottles of wine, took GHB and some paracetamol (all this time he was texting and told me to die somewhere else) and into the second bottle of wine everythings gone from my memory but I woke up in hospital feeling quite rough and proceeded to have seizures and all sorts for the next 2 weeks.
Since then Ive had so much anger towards men in general but being treated like this set off a fire in my soul. I know a just babbled about some sob story up there ^ but I cant stress how much this has affected me. And im worried im going to do something I regret. When I left him I fantasized about killing him and finally seeing him in even 1/3 of pain like the pain he put me through. I promised myself that one day I will seek revenge on him and its the only way to calm down when I think of all the things he did to me and ALL WITH A SMIRK/SMILE ON HIS STUPID FACE.
I shake and cant catch my breath when I think of how he was so cruel to me. I know its not upto me who lives or dies, but I feel the world would be a better place without him in it. I just want to see him in pain so much. But I can feel the anger spilling out of me towards other people. Today some man and his son were in a BMW and had taken up half the road at a turning so I couldnt turn in and they were laughing and shaking their heads at me like It was my fault. I felt this burning fire come up into my chest and I wanted to kill them. I just needed to release something -- I screamed at them and embarrassed myself a bit but I felt I couldnt control myself and MY GOD did it feel good to let it out!!!
But this isnt who I am and I dont know how to control it. i have PTSD and constant flashbacks to the ex laughing while I cried and all the cruel things he did I just dont see myself ever controlling this and I can feel it losing control. I feel such a release when I scream and lose control.
Any advice LOL
submitted by SnooLentils8659 to Anger [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:23 attempsatpositivity Started As Friends

I (18F), am in a friends with benefits situation with a male friend of mine (early 20'sM.) This situation started a few months ago. We live a few hours apart, and we started out as friends. We met through our friend group, and I was interested in dating him at the time. After being friends for roughly two months I was honest with him about my interest, and he told me that he wasn't interested in a relationship right now due to recent experiences, and I was understanding of that. However, there was mutual physical attraction, and it wasn't long after that we began sexting. We agreed that we would be friends, but we would just have the benefits alongside that.
He's an exceedingly busy person, and I was aware of that from the beginning. However, there were a few times throughout a two month span where he would only send me a streak on snapchat that he sent to numerous other people. At first it was slightly annoying, but they were typically of his cat and I can't exactly get mad when he's still giving me pictures of the adorable cat every day. (Either that or a picture of the outdoors that he took while working out.)
However, after it had happened a few more times it upset me, so I messaged him asking for a small message, asking him to let me know when he would be too busy to talk so that I wouldn't have to worry about bothering him. He agreed, and things went well for about a week. Now, to be clear, I've never had too much of a problem with him bringing up his ex's. He mainly has brought up his ex as a way to compliment me, and because she was toxic (I know the whole story but will not be sharing it all here) I accepted that because I took it as a way for him to reassure me that I was assuredly far better than what he'd experienced so far.
However, there had been two occasions where he had brought her up either during (after he'd gotten off and before I had) and after sexting that had bothered me. So it was slightly offputting when he told me he was trying to find the nudes his ex had sent him while they were still in a relationship. I understood why, because she had made claims about him that were both untrue and extremely harmful if they were taken seriously, and he told me he would feel better if he had some proof that he hadn't forced her to do things with or for him.
Despite this, I still had a nagging feeling, one about whether or not he would still be able to find her attractive, and if he would get horny from the photos. I tried having more faith in him, reasoning that I had never been able to find anyone who I had previously talked to physically attractive after our fling ended, and he would either be the same way or ignore any reaction he had to the photos. However, that faith was ruined when he told me after he'd found pictures that, while she had been a bitch, he had gotten horny because her body was still cute.
Long story short, I wasn't pleased. He tried telling me in a roundabout way that he was more interested in my type of physique, but at that point, I didn't want to hear it. After talking with him about it, as I wasn't sure if he'd initially said those things about his ex as a joke or not (he's a nerd and they're typical, no offense, really stupid socially).) I got a mix of emotions from him during that part of our conversation, but I resolved to just put it behind me after we moved on.
Half a week later, I'm in the mood. Whenever I'm talking to someone, I don't watch porn because it just doesn't do it for me when I have an actual person who I can talk to (I found that out the hard way during my last fling), and so I decided to sext him. It went well, and I teased him for about half an hour before he stopped responding. I had already been slightly wary of sexting him, but I still held out hope he wouldn't ignore me, particularly given the topic of conversation and the fact that I'd already asked him before to tell me when he'd be busy.
He didn't respond for six hours, and when he did he told me he'd been cleaning around the house and talking to his friends. I didn't respond for a day, because I wanted to see if he would strike up a conversation again of his own volition. He didn't. I ended up asking him for help with homework the following night, and he helped me. Then, I sent him a Tiktok, something lighthearted and funny to try and start a conversation, and I didn't get a response. I didn't get a response, or any correspondence from him other than a Snapchat streak, for a week.
We had already planned to meet up on the weekend, and I broke the no correspondence by asking him what time he would want to meet up with me that Sunday. We agreed to a time, and we met up and went back to his apartment. When I brought up the fact that he hadn't responded to me for a week he was surprised, and so I guessed he just hadn't realized that it had been that long due to his work schedule. At this point, I was just frustrated and annoyed from numerous things that had happened in my life, including his ghosting me, and so I ended up sleeping with him. It was great, and it wasn't awkward at all, but the issues in our friendship, namely his shit communication, was addressed only in my asking, again, for him to just let me know whenever he's too busy to talk.
Another few weeks go by, and we hadn't sexted at all since our meetup, and conversation had been decent but he still had the same issues. So, I decided to address it a final time. I laid everything out for him, told him that he'd hurt me as a friend, and that if it happened one more time I was going to stop talking to him entirely. He apologized, acknowledging that I had been a really good friend to him and he wasn't showing it well, and that he'd try to get better.
I'm not going to get into much detail about his past experiences, but to summarize, he had been ghosted numerous times by a few girls, and his ex had been really assertive about wanting to date him, and then went on to cheat on him before claiming he cheated on her (the usual toxic female bs.) Though I know my intentions with him have never been bad, (all I wanted at first was a relationship and now all I want is his friendship and dick) I can see parallels between what he's gone through before and how I've approached things with him.
I was assertive with the fact that I wanted to date him. So was his ex, who ended up cheating on him with a guy who she had told him she wasn't interested in. The girls who ghosted him? He talked to them whenever he had the time to talk, and they talked to him whenever they had time to talk to him, and they both still ended up ghosting him. I don't know how much he talks to me compared to his other friends or even compared to the other girls he has talked to in the past, but it's a decent amount. He's been ok since I last addressed things with him, but despite my genuine want to have a friendship with him I'm nearing my end, and he knows it. I've told him, I marked the line in the sand, and he's actually made some improvement.
Still, even though I don't think I asked him for something unreasonable, there's still a part of my mind that feels I'm asking too much from him. I only really want to know if he gets busy if we're in the middle of his conversation and he has to go, and due to my own past experiences, I both want that so I can know I didn't bother him to the point of him not respond and can't help but think that it's a bit much to ask. It isn't, the message would take literally thirty seconds to type out, but still. I know his past experience with women he's been interested in has been shitty, and at the very least I want him to have a good experience to look back on for when we eventually move on from having this aspect incorporated into our friendship.
TL;DR: I'm fuckbuddies with a friend of mine, and I'm curious. I don't think I've done anything overtly wrong, and I don't think that I've been a bad friend. Is there something I could have done differently?
submitted by attempsatpositivity to relationships [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:23 ar_david_hh Sep/23/2020 news: \\ education reforms: Armenian language \\ liberated Anvakh outpost \\ MFAs clash \\ Armenia-Saudi relations \\ job & salary stats \\ real estate grows \\ EU sends $ \\ BHK officials \\ Amulsar activists \\ police & cadastre reforms \\ mask ads \\ Yerevan vs illegal construction

"the importance of the newly liberated Anvakh outpost"

The govt released a video: in July, without a single shot, Armenian soldiers took the [Anvakh] position that was under Azeri control. It has long been a big security threat to nearby residents of Armenian Movses village. Although this position is within Armenia, Azeris attacked it but were thrown back.
Why is Baku taking the loss of this position so painfully?
First. This has left an important Azeri outpost on nearby Mt. Kharadash vulnerable because the only road that leads to it is under Armenian observation; it's right next to the new Armenian position.
This Azeri outpost on Mt. Karadash, which is now isolated, is very important for Azerbaijan because it's the tallest point that oversees several regions in Azeri Tovuz province, and Armenian Chinari village.
Second. There is a growing nationalist movement in Azerbaijan, and since Aliyev couldn't retake the lost position, it damages his reputation. The Azeri govt has fallen in their own trap that they set by making militaristic threats for years.

Azeri media is accused of word game / MFA Lavrov

Armenian MFA says: // Russian MFA Lavrov made a "standard" comment about the Karabakh negotiations, the 5 regions, etc. Azeri media twisted his words and presented them in a one-sided way. //
Russian MFA later told reporters to read their direct quote instead of its interpretation by a third party [Azerbaijan]. ,

Armenophobia in Turkish newspapers

Hrant Dink foundation examined articles written by 500 Turkish newspapers in 2019. They found 5,515 instances of hate speech towards 80 minorities.
Armenians were the primary target with 803 instances, followed by Syrians with 760, Greeks with 754.
Yeni Akit, Yeniçağ Diriliş Postası were the worst offenders.

will the relations with Saudi Arabia normalize? / Signals sent / Middle East expert talks Turkey-Saudi-Armenia relations / Salman's Vision 2030

Azerbaijan, Turkey, Yemen, and... Saudi Arabia? These are the Asian counties without diplomatic relations with Armenia. Saudis are among those who won't befriend Armenia due to the Artsakh conflict for the sole reason that Azerbaijan is a Muslim state.
However, Saudis sent congratulations to Armenia on Independence Day on Monday. At first King Salman, then the Defense Minister. They wished "progress and prosperity" to Armenian people.
This is the second time they've done so. The first message was in 2018. The mutual trade remains low, however, at "few hundred thousand dollars a year."
Economist and Gulf states expert Minas Hanskehean explains: there is a significant and sharp shift in Saudi foreign affairs in favor of Armenia. There is a geopolitical confrontation between Turkey and Saudi. Erdogan wants to revive Ottoman "rules" and present himself as the Sunni leader, but Saudis don't like this.
Saudis had good relations with Qatar, then Turkey sent soldiers to Qatar.
When I was teaching economics to Saudi students in Riyadh in 2015, at the time, Turkey was viewed as a great, successful, and a model state. Then it all changed in front of my eyes. Riyadh's mayor directly instructed Sheikhs not to invest in Turkey because "Turkey is robbing you on daily basis." The most popular state-run newspapers would print anti-Turkish articles daily.
This isn't the only reason why Saudis want to normalize relations with Armenia now. It's part of their new strategy to make new friends, including in the Caucasus. They subsidized tourism to Georgia; it would cost Saudi citizens as little as $300 to travel there.
Saudis will celebrate their national day on September 23rd. Armenia should not only send congratulations but also an invitation for Saudi MFA or the Prince to visit Armenia.
The Armenian diaspora is very small; around 300 people. Mostly migrated from Syria, Lebanon, other Gulf states, and a very few gold experts and teachers from Armenia.
There is rapid social progress in the country. Prince Muhammad bin Salman wants to change the public mentality. It wasn't just allowing women to drive that they have done lately. It's part of their "Vision 2030" which also envisions Arabia without oil.
They want to dedicate land size of Armenia to develop tourism. They spend astronomical sums to import food, but our products aren't in their market. We should improve relations and establish a trade office in Riyadh.Սաուդյան-Արաբիան-փոխում-է-Հայաստանի-հանդեպ-նախկին-քաղաքականությունը/395710Սաուդյան-Արաբիան-երկրորդ-անգամ-շնորհավորեց-Հայաստանի-Անկախության-տոնը/395681
Tags: #SaudiArabia

China's new embassy in Armenia

"China wants to strengthen relations with Armenia," said president Sarkissian who was invited to the newly built Chinese embassy, which is the largest in the region. He discussed technology and science cooperation with China.

U.S. company wants to build a global center for technology solutions in Armenia

High-Tech Minister Arshakyan met the American SADA Systems founder Hovik Safoyan, who wants to utilize Armenian tech talent. Details about the project will be revealed soon.
"This is like fresh air, a new approach that has not existed before. The government sends a signal that Armenia is not a country for charity, but a center for creating new companies and opportunities through mutually beneficial cooperation," said the founder.

how post-Soviet dictators prepare their sons as next leaders

Russian blogger Varlamov made a video about how dictators of Belarus, Azerbaijan, etc. involve their sons in politics and slowly prep them as their successors.
The video mentions how BKH leader Gagik Tsarukyan gave 4 white lions as a gift to Nikolay Lukashenko (son of Alexander Lukashenko), how Ilham Aliyev changed Azerbaijani law to promote his family's power and how he "advertises" his son Heydar, how Tajikistan's dictator's son was recently elected as the Parliament speaker, etc.

speaking of Gagik Tsarukyan...

His "voter buying and financial crimes" trial was supposed to be today but he didn't show up "despite being notified". The judge could have continued the trial without him but he chose to postpone it until September 25th.
(There is a big opposition rally on October 8th and the ruling QP party earlier accused Tsarukyan of trying to match the rally date with his trial for more "impact".)

BHK MP Naira Zohrabyan's interview w/Russian outlet

Lragir writes: // BHK MP Zohrabyan is complaining that "Vestnik Kavkaza" Russian-language outlet twisted her words. She had to call them to demand a correction. "Is Zohrabyan even aware of this outlet's anti-Armenian record?"
In the interview, the MP also told the outlet that it's the Pashinyan administration who caused a deadlock in the Karabakh peace process and that it has no vision for resolving the conflict. This was actively used as propaganda by Azeri media. //

police arrests environmental activists after fight

Police report says: // we got a call about a big fight in Gndevaz (not far from Amulsar, where Lydian wants to mine gold). The environmental Activists berated miners who expressed willingness to mine in Amulsar. Mamas were cussed.
Both sides gathered near Gndevaz to "talk". It escalated into a 40-minute physical and verbal fight.
One of the Activists then threw a rock at the oncoming car's windshield and broke it. His friends followed suit. Items were gathered as evidence. Three Activists are under arrest. Stay calm and respect others' rights. //

journalists criticize a court ruling / "bad precedence"

A group of media outlets: // Lori TV reporter was assaulted in 2017 while documenting how construction crews were laying asphalt under the rain.
The court verdict to acquit the suspects [due to lack of evidence and statue of limitation] is disappointing. They had twisted the journalists' arms, punched her, and deleted the footage. This verdict sets a bad precedence. //
The journalist will appeal the verdict.

Armenian State University of Economics board

... decided to suspend classes until their acting-rector Diana Galoyan is officially approved by the govt as a permanent rector.
The previous rector was forced to resign after an Education Ministry agency found plagiarism in his doctoral dissertation. His replacement, Diana Galoyan, was also caught with plagiarism, but another Education Ministry agency overruled those plagiarism findings to give her a green light.
Her approval process hasn't been finalized yet. The university wants it done ASAP because they like her and "she is apolitical and independent."

police reforms

Recently the govt passed a bill to create a new police division with better-trained officers, better equipment, uniform, etc.
Someone has to teach those recruits. The future teachers are currently being taught how to teach the recruits. They are being aided by the U.S., EU, UN, and OSCE.

real estate market is reviving

Property transactions dropped during the pandemic's uncertainty and hardship. Looks like it's active again.
Cadastre Committee chief: +6.3% YoY property transactions in August. The lifting of physical restrictions helped the rise. +39% in rural areas. +7% in provincial cities. Yerevan had fewer transactions, however. The prices are -1%.

reforming the online property database system

Cadastre Committee will revamp the website and provide easier access to property locations. The street naming scheme will abide by the same rule so you won't come across a difficulty with finding "Khachatur Abovyan" but not "K. Abovyan".

COVID stats

+2256 tested. +220 infected. +350 healed. 268322 tested. 3617 active.
Artsakh president's spokesman David Babayan is infected. ,

mask-promoting ads

The govt has purchased ad space on 40 billboards for 1 month to display ads that promote the wearing of a mask.

Norq Hospital employees to be rewarded

Norq infections hospital played a major role against COVID. They didn't receive special rewards on September 21st, unlike some of their colleagues. They sent a complaint letter to the govt.
The govt responded saying over 100 Norq Infections doctors will soon receive the awards, in addition to 12 who got it earlier. ,

Artsakh sends gifts to the U.S.

Medical products made in Artsakh were donated to the Chevy Chase surgical center in Los Angeles, which has a history of helping the Artsakh population.

Asian Development bank will provide $2m aid

... against the COVID fight.

Europe will provide $35m aid

... to reform the judicial system.

Europe will give another $35m aid

This one is for overcoming economic difficulties caused by COVID.

IRS provides job and wage numbers

There were 618,000 taxpaying jobs as of August, which is up 5,000 from last month, and up 13,400 from last year.
Salary-per-job-position went from $390/mo to $420/mo.

Yerevan is being sued by ex-oligarch Lfik

Mayor Marutyan has been recently forcing ex-officials to free public lands that they "illegally occupied" with "illegal construction".
Ex-HHK businessman Samvel "Lfik Samo" Aleksanyan is now suing the capital to cancel one such decision that affects his structure on Շրջանային փողոց.

new bill could end the legalization of bootleg roof extensions

Those disgusting-looking things that people build on their apartment complex building roofs for "extra room"... currently they can be legalized.
A draft bill by Justice Ministry could keep them illegal.
Interview with an architect:

education reforms / Armenian language

The opposition ARF, BHK, HHK, Hayreniq are against the upcoming education reforms and have accused the Education Ministry of anti-Armenian conduct and "destroying traditional values, Armenian language, History, etc."
Education Ministry: // the proposed reform will increase Armenian Language class hours from 650 to 718 in Elementary, from 850 to 863 in Middle, and from 500 to 571 in High school. //
The reform bill is still open for suggestions on the govt website.
More about the bill:

Armenian Language & Armenology classes

... are now being subsidized by the Education Ministry in twice as many foreign educational institutes, per 2019 reforms.
10 schools and universities in 8 countries are receiving financing to teach Armenian language, history, and culture.
The first-ever joint Armenology research was subsidized with two European institutes.

birth registration reforms / less runaround for parents

The Justice Ministry reformed the law about issuing a birth certificate. Beginning in March, seven birth clinics enrolled in a new program to establish one unified office on their premises that will provide several services such as birth certificate, child aid enrollment, paternity certificate, etc.
The program will expand in provinces soon. It has already helped 3.7k out of 5.3k babies born in Yerevan since March.

Le Dîner de Cons / now in theaters near you

Armenian-French producer Francis Veber created movie classics such as Dinner With Idiot (The Dinner Game), Խաղալիքը, Ձախորդները, Հայրիկները.
On the scale of 0-10, zero is the chance you haven't seen at least one of them. But why not watch a performance in person?
Vanadzor's drama theater will perform The Dinner With Idiot, directed by Sargis Manukyan. He believes the public needs some comedy after the pandemic.
You've read 2105 words.

Disclaimer & Terminology

1) The accused are innocent until proven guilty in the court of law, even if they sound guilty.
2) Currency in Armenian ֏ unless specified otherwise.
3) NSS/SIS/SOC = law enforcement agencies. QP = Civil Contract Party. LHK = Bright Armenia Party. BHK = Prosperous Armenia Party. HHK = Republican Party. ARF = Armenian Revolutionary Federation Party
4) ARCHIVE of older posts by Idontknowmuch: PART 1 ; PART 2 ; PART 3 ; PART 4 ; PART 5.
5) ARCHIVE of older posts by Armeniapedia.
submitted by ar_david_hh to armenia [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:22 MewoLoveYou $800 PC build for first time builder

My First PC
What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
Mostly a gaming PC but will also be using it for zoom calls and homework.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
$800 but willing to go up to $900 at the very most.
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
I plan on buying the parts and building the PC in late Late December.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Everything since it’s my first time building a PC
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
California and the closest Microcenter is too far away from me.
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Nope starting from scratch.
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
No, I don’t know how.
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
Whatever you guys recommend will be ok with me.
**Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
*Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Yes I need a copy of Windows 10 home
submitted by MewoLoveYou to buildapcforme [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:21 killerqueen408 A letter to B

I hope that by writing this, I can finally bury what died and move on.
Dear B,
I deeply regret that our relationship ended so suddenly last month. I wanted badly to make it work, to enjoy autumn with you, and celebrate our one year anniversary in November. I had dreams in my head of us cuddling in front of the fire, going ice skating, and kissing under the mistletoe. Then it all came crashing down last month. You told me that you were no longer in love with me and were seeing someone new. You told me that I didn't call you or text you enough, and that you turned to Bumble, the app where we met in the first place, to talk to other guys. Your words were like a dagger in my chest. I have to let my feelings loose here, since I was unable to tell you at the time exactly how I felt hearing that from you.
When I first started dating you, you admitted that I was the first long-term boyfriend you ever had. There was an obvious age and maturity difference between us; I was 24 when I first started dating you, you were 19. I was already finished with college and working my first full time job, you were still in school. But we made it work, and those months we were dating were truly the happiest months of my life. I never felt more comfortable and happy with anyone else. I loved those long afternoons cuddling after I picked you up from school, letting the day fade into night in each others arms. I took you to places I've never taken other girls before, like my favorite ATV park, the ice skating rink, and nearly every museum in San Francisco. You told me how badly you wanted to marry me and run away to another state, and I went as far as to entertain the thoughts of a life together.
I spent hours helping you pass your Spanish classes when I could have said no. I picked you up from school to come to my place when you could have taken the bus. I drove an hour in the middle of the night to pick you up from Napa when your friends got too drunk to drive you home. I fought with my parents to let you stay with us for a week when your parents kicked you out. I helped you stay away from drugs when you were depressed, and took you bowling instead of letting you go to a place where I knew you'd end up taking pills. When lockdowns started in March, I let you borrow one of my television's and my PS4 so you wouldn't be so bored in the house. I even talked to you in the middle of the night when you were having nightmares on multiple occasions. I knew that I would have to put in more effort than usual in a relationship because of your age and maturity level, but I was happy to.
I was even willing to put up with some very bad mistakes on your behalf. You lied to my face about your ex trying to get with you again, and I forgave you. You took pills on your birthday when you promised you wouldn't and lied about it, and again, I forgave you. I could have broken up with you multiple times over the lies you told me and your constant flirting with other guys but I didn't. Then, you iced me out of your life to be with some guy you met on Bumble while we were still dating. When you told me you wanted to break up, you tried to blame everything on me. You accused me of barely calling or texting you when I facetimed you every single day and tried to see you as often as I possibly could with my 40 hour a week schedule. You told me that I "pressured" you to have sex without a condom one time when I distinctly remember you were the one who asked me not to wear it after I asked "are you sure." You accused me of being a racist when you were the one who said you don't feel comfortable around black people. I don't think our relationship would have lasted much longer, but the way that you tried to avoid taking responsibility for anything that you've done and then immediately replace me really hurt. It made me question my worth as a person. But looking back, while I've made some mistakes, I would never in a million years dream of lying to you or making up excuses to justify cheating.
I don't think you're a bad person B, but you're incredibly immature. When I had issues, I was willing to talk through the issues I had with our relationship and work out solutions that made us both happy. When you felt neglected, you went behind my back to see other guys instead of telling me anything, right until the point you broke up with me. I sincerely hope that whoever you are seeing right now is the right guy for you, because even if you did come back to me, I would say no. I might have loved you, but I was willing to give up my dignity to keep our relationship, when you weren't even willing to put down your phone and stop texting other guys when you are an adult and definitely know better. I'm grateful for all of the positive memories we shared, but if I was to date you again, I would surrender my dignity, which I could never do again. Not for anyone, and not for you. I wish you the best of luck in the future.
submitted by killerqueen408 to BreakUps [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:21 imjustverystupid So when do you get over your ex?

I'm seeing this great guy for the past couple of months, it's my first time seriously dating someone since my breakup 2 yrs ago. He's sweet and handsome and I could honestly spend every day with him not getting bored or needing alone time but now the thoughts of my ex are creeping back like I'm trying to sabotage myself. I keep asking myself these hypothetical questions, like if my ex asked me to get back together tomorrow, would I do it? I'm afraid I would. Then I ask myself what is the point of getting into a new relationship, things started out great with my ex too but that ended with him cheating and leaving me for another guy and what's to say that won't happen again? Why go through that shit again like I'm some sort of a masochist?
So how the hell do I stop thinking about this relationship in catastrophic terms. I really like the guy and want to make things work.
I know I should probably stop looking at my ex's Instagram every few days but that's almost muscle memory at this point.
submitted by imjustverystupid to askgaybros [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 21:20 Viking242Echo How long does "tracing" usually take?

I've had a package marked as "On FedEx vehicle for delivery" in Braselton, GA for close to 30 days now (original delivery date was supposed to be 8/27.
I've contacted FedEx every week since then checking for a status on the trace and haven't gotten any answers. A trace agent did call me last week needing more info about what the package looks like and was told they'd contact me back asap but still haven't had any update. Seller is reluctant to send a replacement or issue a refund until FedEx can confirm if it's damaged, lost or stolen.
I've had three other packages in the last couple of weeks that have been delivered on time from the same facility. Are they just not delivering the largeheavier packages (60lbs, 33x29x13) on time while they're "backed up"?
submitted by Viking242Echo to FedEx [link] [comments]

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